Check yourself before you wreck yourself? This is what astrology helps me do when life or parenting becomes overwhelming or frustrating to the point I feel like I might snap. This is inevitable, and Mars is the planet that indicates how we act out or handle ourselves when feeling this way.
Mars is currently making his way through his home sign of Aries over the next six months, including a retrograde period between Sept. 9th and Nov. 14th. It will also make 3 squares to Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn along the way. This will certainly add to the potential for tough and challenging times for all of us. But because Aries also rules early childhood, this can be particularly tough for parents.
It’s probably pretty understandable and clear some challenges are upon us since we already know that all of us will be having to juggle work, school and childcare in unprecedented ways this Fall.
So what do we need to know? What can we do? And how can astrology serve us?
Astrology gives amazing insight to one’s own way of being and operating in the world. And a big one that Mars in Aries challenges is our patience.
So first, understanding your own Mars can offer a good starting point for knowing your own level of patience and how you personally handle stress, conflict, challenge, anger and upset.
If you have Mars in a Fire or Water sign, (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) you likely get hot pretty quickly and react with emotion and force that can accidentally create more upset and upheaval than desired. Think of how fire starts with a quick spark or how fire boils a pot of water, and what might happen when further fueled or left to burn on for too long.
If you are an Earth or Air sign Mars, (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius or Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) you likely prefer to give orders and forcefully communicate what is required to get things accomplished, but can accidentally create more blocks and resistance than desired. Think of how hard it is to move straight through erratic winds or run with weights around your ankles, and what might happen if unable to direct the energy or sustain the strength to make it through.
For parents, it's then valuable to understand your child's Mars energy and how it works with yours.
I have Mars in Aries and my son has Mars in Pisces. I move fast, push through to get things done, make things happen or get what I want. And I can get pretty heated when challenged or slowed down when I'm on a mission. My son is often in no hurry whatsoever, and feels his way through things. He prefers to wander or jump around, out of order, when doing something. And he can get very hurt and upset if he's pushed, told to hurry up or that he's doing something in the wrong way.
You can probably already see where we might butt heads.
But when we have one of these moments I’ve gotten into the habit of stopping, checking myself, assessing the situation and doing what I need to do to manage it consciously and to avoid creating a larger issue or problem that could have other longer term effects.
It may be just taking a deep breath, walking away to regroup, or telling him we need a break. And undoubtedly our astrology and the differences in how we operate come to mind, which reminds me to have some compassion for both of us.
I learned early on that my son would not respond well to aggressive behavior, anger or conflict. I'll never forget when I really lost my patience and yelled at him for the first time when he was little. His entire little body kind of shivered and shook, like my anger was vibrating right through him. He was in shock and hurt to the core. I felt horrible and knew in that moment it would be vital that I got better at handling my frustrations and impatience.
So as we all navigate this long Mars transit though Aries we will become triggered, agitated, angry, or lose our patience, perhaps more often than usual. And it may be harder than usual to successfully meet these moments.
My motto with astrology under tough transits like these is 'forewarned is forearmed'. And then I look to what understanding and resources I have to more consciously navigate these times.
In this case, I've been looking at discipline techniques because most of the time conflict comes simply when others aren't doing what we want them to and we get mad. Mars in Aries says, "I want what I want and I will get mad if I can't have it".
Hopefully there are other players in the Natal programming to help ease or balance this out, but either way, there are resources and steps we can take to adjust and make nice instead of being childish, mean or nasty.
I learned from a mommy and me class years ago about a mindful approach to handling conflict or misbehavior with little ones. I will never forget the H.A.L.T. Theory and the importance of Expectations vs. Reality to keep stress levels low.
Keeping your expectations of your child as close to the reality of what they are actually capable of based on their age or current state of being can help you avoid high stress. And usually in these moments you are both probably one of the following; Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired: H.A.L.T.
So when you or your child is having a rough time, check in to see who might need to eat, talk about something, a hug or just need a break for some rest. It's likely one of these for both of you.
But listen, accidents and arguments will happen. No one is perfect at keeping totally cool when things get tense. However, I do believe that with self-awareness, understanding of the astrology and having a couple of mindful approaches for navigating these times handy, you can check yourself before you wreck yourself and avoid making issues bigger than they need to be or creating more trouble or stress than necessary.
So take good care, find healthy outlets for releasing any building tensions and know yours and your child's Mars. This insight can provide priceless guidance on how to more consciously manage those moments of overwhelm or frustration. Good luck mamas!
Nurture the Nature - for your well Being!
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